Finding my Voice

You know when you read someone's blog, there's this "voice", the way that they write their blog. You can get a sense of who they are in a way or at least who they are letting you know who they are. I'm trying to find that. I have A LOT to say. I'm a talkative person, I can usually fill up pages upon pages of stuff talking. I talk about political stuff, books, movies, my big obsessions etc.. Yet for some odd reason I have YET to find my voice. I want my voice, I just don't know how to do that. I am going to try to find it. I'm going to be on a journey to find it. I will be posting anything and everything that I can think of when I think of it and eventually it will come to me I think. But I must prepare you, you'll probably yawn more than anything, you may end up scratching your head going HUH?, you will more than likely roll your eyes and go seriously Dude get a life, or you may laugh like crazy. Originally I started this just for me to put whatever, which to me was well I don't know, just a place to get thoughts out. But now I want more, I want a place to talk to people. To get my thoughts and ideas out there, or my sarcasm (which you WILL without a doubt see). I will be posting about all that I have mentioned and then some. I would love some feedback if you don't mind when I write something. If you hate it or it's boring, tell me, if you like it, tell me, if you have a question you would like me to answer, ask me. I'm open. I want to see what I can do b/c I know I'm a good writer, I just have to find myself, find who I am in the blog world and I will do it, but not sure what it's going to be, which in a way is a little scary lol So please bear with me as I search for myself on here.

When did that happen?

So I was thinking recently when did I get so involved in politics? I wasn't political in HS, sure I had my views, I had my thoughts, but I couldn't be bothered with politics. Then all of a sudden BAM I am full force into politics. We're not just talking discussing it here and there, we're talking full on debating politics, policies, presidents,senators, local people, topics. When did I become such an adult involved in the affairs of the world. Now here's the thing that is funny too. I don't watch the news or read the paper so I don't get my opinions from some newscaster/talk show person or some reporter in a newspaper or magazine. I see a topic, I go and research it, find the info myself, I look at it from all sides. So it kind of annoys me when there are people who just go off of what someone else said. I see it all the time when I'm debating. The opposing opinion just spouts what they heard on TV, you can tell it's not THEIR opinion or their thought or even a fact that they looked up. I hate that, it's why so many debates die, b/c they have NOTHING to come back at me with and it sucks, but that all aside, I really would like to know when I became so political lol If anyone knows, please let me know. I really have no idea. Oh and with that said, expect some political rants from here on out lol

Ladies and whoever else is out there, I'm back, kind of :D

Ok so it's been like forever since I last posted, Oct 2009 to be somewhat exact. So where have I been? Well here but not here. You see, once Halloween hits, it's all pretty much down hill for me for being busy. Hubby's birthday is in Nov, then we have Thanksgiving, then we have Christmas and all that deals with Christmas, then NYE and then all the other holidays. I get a small break between Easter and Mothers Day and then it starts all over again. Coming from a big family there is only 2 months of the year we don't have a birthday to celebrate, March and October lol But then you have other holidays during those months so I"m busy anyways.

Soo what's happened since Oct?? Let's see, we're doing good, we've been busy but good busy. No one has been severely sick or been in the hospital. Our car is doing good. This year is turning out to be a better year than last year. School is almost over, this year went by fast. Some decisions have been made by hubby and I about careers. He's going to go back to school for engineering and I"m gonna get my masseuse license and do a traveling type thing in people's homes or at offices so that I can control my schedule.

Loralei is doing Irish Dancing. We are gearing up for the first ever Feis that her dance academy is doing. It's gonna be fun. She may even get to compete. We are having to do fund-raising for that b/c it's quite costly to do one. It will be so exciting and fun. She loves the class and is doing soo good.

Hmm lets see, We're getting ready for the summer, the heat, the rain lol We're planting stuff and I'm going to attempt to start growing my own tomatoes and gonna attempt to make my own spaghetti sauce and even try my hand at canning. Not sure how it will go but we'll see, you never know till you try. I just want to try to do some things that will be fun (I think) and save us some money in the long run, plus teach Loralei, it'll be a great way to do math with her.

Soo I think that's it for now I think. I'm sure I'll think of other stuff after I'm done writing this. But I am back I think with writing. I'm gonna change it up some and start posting more thoughts, more things that I have held back on and not said anything. Why I'm not sure, I guess I didn't want to offend anyone but this is my blog, this is for me to write about what I want and so I'm gonna do just that. I do it on Facebook, why not on here lol

Till my next blog, have a good night, good day and good time :D

Family Family Family

So I haven't written in ages and that's partially b/c I've been so busy with family.

Family can be and usually is the death of us isn't it? We get so stressed out by them. What they say, what they do. How they are. No matter if you've changed, they still try to act like you haven't and so it's a huge cycle. Then you have family members that you would rather just disown and never see again, however there's always something that binds you to them and you can't just kick them out of your life just yet. You can count the days almost down to the very second that you can say ok I'm done I wash my hands of you and walk away. You feel like you need to take a deep breath yet can't, your chest is so tight you can't get a full breath of air in b/c you're being smothered with so much crap from those around you. Those that are suppose to be there to support you, to lift you up, to guide you and love you and help you along your journey through life. You shouldn't feel like you would be better off without them in your life. That's crazy talk right?

Come on people I know I'm not the only one who has this happen. There's those that you love to death, yet when you get around them, you just want to bop them on the head or ok, I'll be honest, club them on the head till you feel better. There are those that you would not mind not seeing for a while, but don't want to get rid of them altogether, but then there are those rare ones I think that you have to see, you have to have contact and it's like pulling teeth to be around them and everyone wonders why when you go to so and so's house or see so and so you have bald spots all over lol well if they only knew right?

So yeah things have been stressful. I've wanted to hide and cry and just run away at several points. However I can't do that and won't do that, well maybe the crying part b/c you know, a really good deep cry every now and then to cleanse the soul doesn't hurt. You know what I'm talking about, the cry where it takes a box of tissues b/c of all the snot you're blowing out your nose and sopping up the tears streaming down your face like rivers. Those I think are the best cries ever and so you go and find the saddest most heart wrenching movie (we all have one, yes even you men do and you know it) and it helps to deal with those family things, where you can't normally just bust out crying lest you want to have some drama happen more than it already is.

So I leave this post to go and do my best to have a good cry. I hope all have a good weekend wherever you are and I hope that no one is having family issues right now and if you are, just know that you are NOT alone, I'm right there with you.

25 Firsts

25 Firsts

Stealing this from Sarah

"25 Firsts"

1. Who was your first prom date? Sadly, I never had a prom date. No guys liked me enough to ask me.

2. Do you still talk to your first love? hmmm this is a hard one to answer

3. What was your first alcoholic drink? Um ok if DCF had ever seen this when I was younger my dad would soo be in jail lol. He actually let me have drinks of his daiquiris when he made them

4. What was your first job? Other than babysitting, working at a gas station that a family friend owned. I was 18. But before that I had tons and tons of babysitting jobs.

5. What was your first car? A 1994 Chevy Astro. I got it free from a family that we knew through our church. Was a pretty good van, had it up until the day before we got married when it decided to die on us. I had it a good 3 years so not too bad.

6. Who was the first person to text you today? No one text me today. I haven't been texting much lately.

7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning? Loralei, it's always Loralei

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Little. I actually got to see her a couple years ago b/c my little sister (who is 19 years difference in age from me) had her as a teacher. Pretty cool. She actually remembered me too. Now that's a teacher lol

9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane? I was 2 I think and it was to Wisconsin to see my grandparents.

10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk? Nina and Dana, they were twins and no I haven't seen them since 7th grade. We didn't see each other after 1st grade, met up again in 7th, then b/c of peer pressure and crap, they decided they didn't want to be friends with me b/c I wasn't in the cool crowd.

11. Where was your first sleepover? Other than with family, I'm almost positive with Nina and Dana, we were always together.

12. Who was the first person you talked to today? Loralei

13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time? My step cousin's a long time ago, I think I was 11? I can't remember, but the dress was ugly.

14. What was the first thing you did this morning? Hmm got Loralei her inhaler and then made sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast.

15. What was the first concert you went to? Chipmunks lol Does that count? If not then New Kids On The Block

16. First tattoo? Butterfly on inside of my left wrist, I was 28 I think

17. First piercing? Ears at 4 or 5 I think

18. First foreign country you went to? LOL Does Canada count? That's the only other country I've been to. Haven't traveled much in my life.

19. First movie you remember seeing? Follow that Bird or ET, can't remember which I saw first or was it Star Wars.I'd have to ask my Dad.

20. What state did you first live in? FLORIDA

21. Who was your first room mate? a girl named Lisa

22. When was your first detention? I think 6th grade but I forget what it was, the other time was 7th grade for supposedly cheating which I didn't do.

24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance? Draw or paint, I have so many things I would love to draw or paint but have no talent for it.

25. Who will be the next person to post this? Hopefully all of you!

Confession #2

I can no longer watch scary/horror movies and forget the ones with blood and gore lol.

I don't know what it is, but about 7 years ago, actually maybe a little before that, whenever the first The Ring came out, after seeing that IDK, something happened and I can't watch them. Well I can watch some, as long as it's during the day and with hubby. Other than that, forget it, I'm a huge wuss. I think it's b/c I've have extremely vivid dreams and tend to dream about movies I see when I see them and I replay stuff in my mind all the time. Who knows, so I'm a big scaredy cat and can't watch scary movies lol

Confession #1

Ok so I'm thinking of doing a confession a week or whenever it hits me to do one. Like a guilty pleasure or something gross that I do or you know just something weird, and with me, you never know what might come out. So anyways, here's the first of I'm thinking many to come. Oh and feel free to post your own confessions.

Ok so even though I'm only 30, I'm seriously thinking I need depends or something. On several occassions lately, I have peed myself when I've sneezed or coughed. Yes, it's quite sad, but I do think it's not all my fault. I have a little girl who I can blame, it's all her fault, she made me do it. Seriously, when I was pregnant with her, she sat on my bladder so I think it forgot how to work without something 7 pounds sitting on it or oh hold on, wait, could it also be that I sometimes forget I have to pee and have a full bladder? Hmmm guess I'll never know will I. Anyways that's my confession for now.