Wow what craziness!

So it seems like I'm always at the Drs ofice lately for one of us. It's crazy. Anyways, I think, don't hold me to it, but I think we're all finally feeling better. So visits for being sick are over THANK GOD!!!!

However, now I will be driving over an hour this week to take Loralei to see a child psychiatrist. I am NOT complaining by any means whatsoever. I'm actually looking forward to this, finally to get some help with my daughter, to find out what's truly going on within that mind of hers. I feel like it's a day of I don't know what but I can just see me have this big sigh of relief after talking to the Dr and finding out what's going on. I can't do what we've been doing without help and support anymore. So this is a huge step and something I can't wait to have done.

I finally found a Dr for me, now I can stop being yelled at by friends and loved ones about going to a Dr, b/c now I have no excuse. I've met her once but I loved how she was and felt so comfortable, and a plus is she's a DO, which is what I wanted. So I am going to have a physical, however, I realized the other day that I have my appointment and Loralei's Pulmonary Specialist appointment set for the same day and oh yeah only 15 mins apart so I have to call tomorrow to reschedule. No biggie. Oh and at her appointment, they will be using her as a pin cushion to do an allergy test. Hopefully she's not as bad as her mama.

I'm doing good overall so I can't complain, tired but that's it.

Oh I have to share something with you that I found hilarious and if you know me, which if you're reading this you most likely do, but the other night I was trying to get Loralei to tell my dad where she was going this coming week (the shrink). Here's how the Convo went.

Me: Tell Grampa where you're going next week.
L: Ummmm I don't know! (as she's trying to figure out what she wants from the snack bar at the movies, yeah not a good place to get her to think lol)
Me: The Dr remember?!
L: Grampa I'm going to the Dr. Mommy what am I going to the Dr for again?
Me: to see what's going on inside that brain of yours!
L: (innocent, no sarcasm) I don't have a mind!

Wow, yeah she's definitely my child, already admitting to her not having a mind, she's lost it early poor thing. I need to start writing down things she says, b/c she has had some whoppers before.

Oh and since all of my friends are doing it and I haven't in a long while I have decided that I'm going to make Loralei another quilt. I'm going to let her pick out the fabric and maybe let her help me, teach her to sew. I will keep that updated, I'm quite excited b/c I haven't sewn anything in wow, almost 6 months, it's a pain b/c I have to take my sewing machine out and put it up and take it out and it's a pain in the butt to do. So I will make a spot that I can leave it out and not have to do the back and forth thing, so pictures will come as I start out, and I think I'm going to photojournal the whole process even of her picking out the material and whatnot. That would be kind of fun for her, to see the process that she was involved in.

Ok so I think I'm done, that's a lot of catching up in one post and I'm sure overwhelming, I won't wait so long to update from now on b/c I know I've forgotten some stuff and well that sucks but oh well. Life goes on. Hope everyone had a Happy Valentines Day and now we get to look forward to St Patty's Day, Yummy, bring on the cornedbeef and cabbage and potatoes.

Cloudy!

My head is cloudy today. A conversation or I should say conversations took place last night and my emotions and thoughts were all over the place. So now my head is cloudy, I'm not sure what is up and what is down. I hate when things happen and you can't take them back and you can't fix them and you can't change them and people get hurt and people are forever changed b/c of something. It's not fair to them it's not fair to you it's not fair period. Sometimes I wish I didn't let my emotions get the best of me but I do. I have yet to learn how to control them, to keep them from getting away. I think that is my biggest fault by far. That and I care too much about others, yes I think there is such a thing. Oh and over thinking is the other that is right up there with it. So two things that can get me into trouble and have gotten me into trouble or into places that I didn't want to be. I wish I could be like some people and control what I feel but I can't, not as much as I would like. I feel too deeply even for friends.

My friends online, even though I haven't met them or most of them, we have formed a friendship and I would be very upset to lose them. Some I have lost and it hurts, b/c when you're online, it's all about putting yourself out there, especially when you are completely and totally honest with them. It makes you vulnerable, raw, easy to get hurt by small things and even more so by big things. There are a few people that I have opened myself up to and some I wish I hadn't b/c I have been hurt. But that's life, I can't live life thinking every person I open up to is going to hurt me. That's just stupid. So anyways, today I am cloudy and in my own little world I guess you can say. My mind is over thinking and my emotions are over feeling. So anyways that's me, in a nutshell for today. Forecast I hope is clearer for tomorrow.