Wow what craziness!

So it seems like I'm always at the Drs ofice lately for one of us. It's crazy. Anyways, I think, don't hold me to it, but I think we're all finally feeling better. So visits for being sick are over THANK GOD!!!!

However, now I will be driving over an hour this week to take Loralei to see a child psychiatrist. I am NOT complaining by any means whatsoever. I'm actually looking forward to this, finally to get some help with my daughter, to find out what's truly going on within that mind of hers. I feel like it's a day of I don't know what but I can just see me have this big sigh of relief after talking to the Dr and finding out what's going on. I can't do what we've been doing without help and support anymore. So this is a huge step and something I can't wait to have done.

I finally found a Dr for me, now I can stop being yelled at by friends and loved ones about going to a Dr, b/c now I have no excuse. I've met her once but I loved how she was and felt so comfortable, and a plus is she's a DO, which is what I wanted. So I am going to have a physical, however, I realized the other day that I have my appointment and Loralei's Pulmonary Specialist appointment set for the same day and oh yeah only 15 mins apart so I have to call tomorrow to reschedule. No biggie. Oh and at her appointment, they will be using her as a pin cushion to do an allergy test. Hopefully she's not as bad as her mama.

I'm doing good overall so I can't complain, tired but that's it.

Oh I have to share something with you that I found hilarious and if you know me, which if you're reading this you most likely do, but the other night I was trying to get Loralei to tell my dad where she was going this coming week (the shrink). Here's how the Convo went.

Me: Tell Grampa where you're going next week.
L: Ummmm I don't know! (as she's trying to figure out what she wants from the snack bar at the movies, yeah not a good place to get her to think lol)
Me: The Dr remember?!
L: Grampa I'm going to the Dr. Mommy what am I going to the Dr for again?
Me: to see what's going on inside that brain of yours!
L: (innocent, no sarcasm) I don't have a mind!

Wow, yeah she's definitely my child, already admitting to her not having a mind, she's lost it early poor thing. I need to start writing down things she says, b/c she has had some whoppers before.

Oh and since all of my friends are doing it and I haven't in a long while I have decided that I'm going to make Loralei another quilt. I'm going to let her pick out the fabric and maybe let her help me, teach her to sew. I will keep that updated, I'm quite excited b/c I haven't sewn anything in wow, almost 6 months, it's a pain b/c I have to take my sewing machine out and put it up and take it out and it's a pain in the butt to do. So I will make a spot that I can leave it out and not have to do the back and forth thing, so pictures will come as I start out, and I think I'm going to photojournal the whole process even of her picking out the material and whatnot. That would be kind of fun for her, to see the process that she was involved in.

Ok so I think I'm done, that's a lot of catching up in one post and I'm sure overwhelming, I won't wait so long to update from now on b/c I know I've forgotten some stuff and well that sucks but oh well. Life goes on. Hope everyone had a Happy Valentines Day and now we get to look forward to St Patty's Day, Yummy, bring on the cornedbeef and cabbage and potatoes.

E Day Feb 19

Feb 19 was just scheduled for me to take L to get evaluated. We will then find out what's going on with her and why she has been the way she has. To see if my gut feeling is right (which I soo hope it's not, this is the one time I want to be wrong about my parenting intuition) or to see if I'm completely off. Either way we will finally find out what's going on. Just having the appointment is such a weight lifted off of me. I have a few friends who can understand that feeling and wow, it's amazing how much lighter you feel but at the same time I'm feeling all the emotions that I've suppressed for so long with this whole thing. The thoughts in my mind are going rampant and wow it's like a flood gate has been opened. So anyways, we will finally get to have something done or get somewhere other than where we are now.

So I am going to call Feb 19 E Day for Evaluation Day lol. Silly corny I don't care, you have no idea how much this means to me to have some help finally. To be able to not be in the dark about where my little girl has gone and what is going on in that noggin of hers. Maybe life can get back to some normalcy (yeah right who am I kidding it was never normal to begin with). I think I just might start a countdown ticker or would that be in bad taste? LOL I am truly excited you just have no idea but I'm also anxious to get it done and find out what's going on. Ahhh all these emotions all at once. I am going to need to see someone if this keeps happening.

Being a Parent and making decisions

It sucks sometimes. It sucks having to make decisions on things that you aren't sure about. Like last night, I was trying to figure out if I should take Loralei to the ER or not b/c her cough just doesn't want to go away and it seems to be getting worse. So I took her stripped both of us down and turned the water to as hot as we both could stand (more as hot as she can stand) and sat in the tub with the shower to create steam. I do this for me with my sinus issues. Well it worked, poor thing was soo exhausted. She had been trying to go to sleep and just couldnt' b/c everytime she laid down she started coughing, she fell asleep sitting up against me. She was soo peaceful looking. But then I started losing feeling in my arm and couldn't stand to be in there anymore so I knocked on the wall for K to help me and he was out, THANKS HONEY!!!! So I ended up having her wake up b/c there is no way I could lift her out of the tub anymore. So she went to bed, sleeping in my bed up against all of my pillows and she has been sleeping since. I could probably go to bed but I don't want to wake her up.

I will however need to get some sleep since I'm taking her to the Dr today. I need to get this taken care of. Treatments aren't working and she can't keep going on like this. It's been over a week and nothing is working. She has never had an issue with her asthma like this before and it worries me, maybe it's not her asthma (I'm praying it's not) and it's something else, but she says her chest feels tight and then when she lays down she starts coughing, I think it is. So if you pray, please lift Loralei up in prayer today and that it's nothing serious and just something that we can change or do differently or meds can help. I should be thankful b/c she's basically been asthmatic since she was born and this is the worst we've had besides last year when we got into the car accident and she almost had croup, but that cleared up in 3 days. I hate going to the Drs it just sucks. Being a parent is hard. Making the decisions for someone else is not always fun. Sometimes I wish I had a magic 8 ball that could just tell me what to do and I wouldn't have to second guess myself or my decision. I do have a magic 8 ball and I listened to Him last night that's why she is now sleeping in my bed and we're not at the ER. Ok I think I might try to snuggle up to her without interrupting her sleep.