UGH with myself.

So I'm just going to ramble b/c I have so much going on in my head. I don't even know what to talk about. I don't have some story. I'm frustrated (mostly with myself), I'm annoyed, I'm vulnerable. I'm just UGH, oh and did I mention I'm going on like no sleep in the last oh 36+ hours. I couldn't get to sleep so I was talking to a friend (thanks for talking with me :o) ) and then I tried to lay down and go to sleep but couldn't b/c well I just couldn't, so I was texting with another friend. Then we went to Orlando to see if we could get Kenny some shoes, didn't get him any but I found a pair of jeans (YAY me, I have a hard time finding clothes). But before that we ate at Chevy's, it's not bad Mexican food, it's just different than what I usually get.

Then I was searching for sunglasses. With my face and needing the glasses to be really dark it's becoming almost impossible to find sunglasses that fit me. I have been looking for like a month now and esp need them b/c the ones I have now are broken. So yeah that's what we did tonight. But I'm annoyed b/c for the past 3 days I have been off on my days, somehow I have thought or felt or whatever you want to call it that I was a day ahead, Monday for some reason I kept feeling/thinking it was actually Tues, I even said to my friend Joy, hey want to sit together at First Wed tomorrow night and I realized b/c I had looked at something that it was only Monday. You would think it would end there and I would be fine, NOPE, yesterday same thing, for some reason I thought it was Wed which is quite odd since I would have been thinking I needed to go to First Wednesday but I didn't feel like that, so that brings me to today. We're in the mall, Loralei is on one of those coin operated kiddie rides that we all use to love when we were little but they were all lame compared to now, so anyways she was on that and it dawn on me that it was Wednesday today. OMG Seriously? It was 8pm when I realized what day it was and what we were missing. So we missed First Wednesday. I am not happy with myself that I did that, I hate when I'm soo off in my head about things.

I am just annoyed and frustrated with myself that I let things slip. It's not even b/c I was tired, b/c what would explain Monday and Tues?? I wasn't that tired then. I sometimes feel like my head is soo not attached to me. That saying if my head wasn't attached I'd lose it soo applies to me. I forget things all the time, where I put them where I got them, what I need to do with them. It sucks, life sucks with a brain like mine. Then it doesn't help to have a child who doesnt' want to listen. OMG someone I am going to string her up by her toes. I feel more than what a broken record probably feels like and then some. So anyways, there's my vent and frustration blog for today at least. I just hope the rest of my week goes better b/c if not well then IDK what I'm going to do. Oh and did I mention I'm NO where ready for Christams? I haven't bought anything, we haven't decorated yet (hopefully) this weekend. I haven't even begun my shopping, though it's only a few things I still don't know what to get people especially my daughter who has EVERYTHING.

So yeah that's what I'm daeling with. I have a few ideas for others but that's a different thing for a different day. I'm thinking with how tired I am right this second that I will read this tomorrow after I've slept and just laugh at myself. Is there such thing as sleep deprived blogging you know like drunk blogging or whatever? Man if you were with me in real life talking to me, I'm sure I would make no sense at all (ok so more so than normal lol). So with that I'm going to go. Hopefully head to bed and get some much much much needed sleep.