Christmas Spirit!!

Ok so I woke up this morning and realized something. I'm soo not in the Christmas mindset. I don't know why. I have a few theories but not too sure. Usually I'm all about Christmas right after Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong I am soo wanting Christmas to come, I want to celebrate what it means to me which is the celebration of the birth of my Savior Jesus Christ, but I just can't seem to get that "holiday cheer". I have bought one present, count them 1 present and that was just something I picked up and didn't put much thought into. I want to decorate but at the same time I'm like eh it's not that big of a deal. THAT is soo not like me. I want my holiday cheer, not having it is depressing me. I DON"T want to be depressed, NO I will not let it happen.

I think part of the reason is I have just had soo much stress and I'm not looking forward to the stress that is involved with the whole Christmas ordeal. I don't feel like shopping for Loralei b/c I think I feel deep down I just don't want to give her anything b/c of the year I've had with her. I know that sounds mean but when you get as tired and stressed out as I have with her you would probably feel the same way. Those of you that have talked with me during my times like that you soo know what I'm talking about. I want to get her some things, things that have meaning, things she needs but I just don't feel it. I'm not excited like I normally am. I'm not as excited to get our tree and pull out the deocrations and make my tree look beautiful. In all honesty I just want to go away for Christmas, just time for the 3 of us. To have time to ourselves. I feel like we're constantly doing stuff or Kenny is constantly working that we don't have time as a family. I just want a normal Christmas without stress. I want Christmas to feel like Christmas.