Swagbucks.com

I found out about Swagbucks.com from a blog I follow Pour Some Sugar on Me. It's really neat. You search for something and you get points/bucks and then you can take those and redeem them for stuff. How much more awesome could it be. Anyways, go check it out and let me know what you think. Oh and don't forget to check my blog down below for a challenge I've put to everyone out there.

ONE Question,Chance,Honest Answer

ONE??? Yep, well not exactly. Here's the deal, You can ask me one question and I will give you an honest answer no matter how hard it is to do or how much I don't want to for whatever reason.

Email it to me at rgumbie09@aol.com and I will answer you back asap. If you're brave you'll do the same. I dare all that read this to do it, to put yourself out there to be honest to any questions asked of you. Make sure in the title you put Blog Question so I know that it's from someone reading this and not spam.

High Anxiety

Ok so I was going to wait till later in the week to write about this but maybe writing about it will get it out and help me. Afterall that's what I started this whole thing for. To help with my thoughts and feelings.

Here goes, I'm turning 30, this coming Sunday I'm turning 30. Now you would think my anxiety would be about the age, as I have found most people don't want to leave their 20's they seem to think some weird thing is gonna happen or they're going to change into this monster that only happens when you turn 30. Who knows, I will never understand the whole thing about age. To me aging is normal,natural and beautiful. I have no qualms about getting older, I look forward to it somewhat.

No, No my anxiety is about my birthday. I try not to think about it, but it always sneaks up and slips into my thoughts. Let me just put it this way, I hate my birthday. Ever since I was little,I literally can not remember a good birthday. Something always goes wrong. One year, when I was little, actually I was 5, it started out ok, I got somewhat a surprise birthday party, my best friend at the time, her parents owned a local bar, well we went to see Follow that Bird (you know the one with Big Bird) and then went back to their bar (yes I was a 5 year old in a bar lol) while my family got things together for my party. My dad made me a Smurfette cake, you know, with those pans that you cook the cake and then decorate it, yep my dad did that and did the decorating too. I'll have to find the pic sometime. Anyways, my uncle decided to mess with the light over the table where the cake was and well the light shade came crashing down on it, destroying my cake and all the food around it. Then other years it was little things here and there but enough to make the day a bad day. Oh and one year in HS, you'll love this, we had a hurricane coming our way so everything was shut down, so we couldn't even go out eat on my birthday, now that sucked.

Growing up we didn't get big parties or anything, we were lucky to get a special meal. Which that usually consisted of our favorite meal, nothing elaborate, not that I think it should have been just explaining. Most kids have some kind of a small party, for the first 9 years of my life other than the one party when I was 5 and the other 4 before that, I didn't have a party. Then we barely had parties and if we did, I ended up doing tons of work to help get them together which meant I had to clean the whole house top to bottom and help with the food, however it was always just family, never friends as I never had any friends. We moved around so much I didn't get to make friends long enough to invite them to my parties, not to mention I don't think they would have been allowed as my mom and her husband were heavy smokers and no one wants their child around that. With my father it was a little bit better, I still didn't have friends to invite to a party, so we were given the option, the 4 of us (my sister, brother, ex step sister and myself) to go to a theme park, we had to decide as a whole where we wanted to go. Or we could have a party. If only two wanted to go and the others a party, then that's what it was.

That wasn't so bad, we would go to a park, sometime in the summer as our birthdays were in June,August and September. So we would get to go plus get either money to spend there or a present for a certain amount. I always chose the park b/c like I said I never had any friends. I eventually I was able to at 16 years old to have my first birthday party with friends. That was awesome, but yet still something happened to make it get messed up. So I tried again about 3 years later with people from my college group. That was not bad at all, probably the 2nd best out of all my birthdays. Out of now 30 birthdays, I've had from what I can remember 2 birthdays that were good.

2 years ago, on my actual birthday, we were going out to eat with my dad and a friend and my car broke down, it was raining and I had a little one in the car. On top of that, my husband decided he would try to make me think that he forgot my birthday so I didn't get a happy birthday from him till he came to pick me up while broke down.

Another year, the day before my birthday, I got pulled over and arrested falsely, yeah that one was fun. Last year other than Breaking Dawn coming out, I had massive anxiety and was stressed b/c we threw a party for my ex step sister who was going away and myself. So I was having to throw together my own party and hers as well. And I was at that point getting no sleep so it was a horrible day of me crying uncontrollably, I had to hide in my closet from Loralei b/c I didnt' want to bring her down.

So anyways, that brings me to now, my birthday now. I dont' want it to come, I don't. I just want the day to go by and nothing to happen. I want to turn 30 and that be it. Things are not better for this year so far. Things have not been great for us the last 10 months in more ways than one and part of it will affect my birthday.


Aggh ok so I took a breather and I know, I was whining up there but I need to whine, I needed to get it out. I still didn't get it all out but it's all good. I am sure this will not be a read most people will want to read but that's ok, it's not for others as much as it is for myself.

Ahh they grow soo fast.

So this week I am signing Loralei up for Girl Scouts. YAY, she is soo excited. I can't wait for her to get involved with it and have soo much fun and then camping trips YAY even better and selling oooohhh GIRL SCOUT COOKIES OMG I can't wait for those lol

Anyways, I remember the little bit of stuff from when I was in GS, I loved it, we got to go camping one time and it was awesome, no parents YAY, However, I will be very involved. Heck I was involved with my brother when he did BS, so definitely going to be very involved with Loralei doing GS. Wow, I can't beleive my little girl is going to be doing something I once did.

However I know that it's changed since I was in it (man I feel old lol) but this will be awesome for her and I can't wait to see how much she grows from it, how much she gets out of it.

So who has been a girl scout and what are your memories from it? Or if you're a guy, did you do Boy Scouts? Did you become an Eagle Scout? What were your favorite things about doing scouts guys? Oh and if you have pics of you in your uniforms that would be awesome to see

Why can't I? and laughter

Ok so I read other people's blogs and they are either deep felt, funny or just overly written well. Or you see their personality in them. Me yeah I can't seem to do that. All day or whatever I'll have tons of things i say, do or think and go oooh I should put that on my blog, then bam I get on the computer and bring up this little thingy to post and





that's what it looks like for Oh I don't know forever, till I decide to just write whatever and then it sucks, it sucks big time. Yes I started this to get thoughts out of my head but they don't seem to want to come out. UGH damn thoughts come out when I want you to.

I really am a funny person, and funny to be around. You wouldn't be able to tell by my writings on here but I am, you'll just have to take my word for it till I get to where I finally come out in my blogs. which well I wouldn't mind being anytime soon. Really I wouldn't mind it at all. I guess I need to figure out what's holding me back ,hmm that might take a while seeming as my brain isn't fully functional lately, oh well it'll happen I'm sure.


Maybe I should like have you guys give me topics and then I can either rant and rave about those or IDK, I just love writing, I love talking and if you know me in person and well on IM or on the phone then you already know that lol I use to get called Mouth of the South b/c I was always always talking and then on top of that I talk with my hands and somehow I can't talk without talking without my hands, I've tried it, my brain stops, it's like my hands are connected to my brain or my mouth or both and when I don't move my hands my brain just goes duuuhhhhhh what am I suppose to do now. Yeah anyways, so if you have a topic that you would love to see what I can do, serious or funny or neutral please please let me know. I want to do something besides post stupid mundane crap on here. I mean I know info about what's going on is good but Ugh I need to work on my writing b/c it's been ages and I miss it and I want to get better at it again. I mean after all I did take a semester of creative writing in HS and I got a B+ (I wasn't very motivated in school to actually do work all the time hence the B+ lol).

Oh and in the meantime too I'm passing on this awesome blog Barefoot Foodie that my friend Rachel passed on to another friend and we both died laughing. So go read her, go laugh your butts off and have a good day/night/whatever time it is ther while you're reading this.

So many emotions at once

Do you ever get to where you feel like 10 different emotions or what feels like 10 different emotions at once? Do you constantly have stuff running through your mind?

I do and right now it's horrible.
Though it probably doesn't help that I feel like crap.

I'm mad,annoyed, frustrated, ticked off, stressed, happy, annoyed at someone, confused, did I say frustrated oh yeah I did lol, hurt, sad, angry, and soo much more

I am annoyed by a few people, some I love dearly which sucks b/c I see them or want to see them, some I don't see often or not at all, some that I see everyday and well can't do anything about.

I'm pissed about a few things, things that have been going on for a while, things that for a long time I kept getting told was totally all in my head or I was overreacting. Now supposedly things are being seen how I have always seen them but nothing is being done.

I want to scream, I want to punch someone, I want to just go away and stay away for awhile. I want to have my own little family off in our own little world just the 3 of us. Ugh I want to be left alone yet my personality won't let me b/c I love being around people too much, communicating with people too much and well I'm nosy so that's another reason lol.

I'm hurt by those that I love b/c they choose to have others come before me others that are not family, and I'm not the only one that they are choosing to have others come before, i'm not the only family. That should help but sadly it doesn't, it makes it worse b/c it means it's getting worse with that person and how that person is.

However, with all that I'm angry,mad,pissed etc about I am happy and I'm thankful for that b/c of the reason. I have my husband and my child. They keep me somewhat sane, though some days they cause my insanity lol.

Ugh I'm gonna end this now, I'm all mixed up and this isn't helping like I thought it would.

I'm an Aunt

If you haven't already heard I'm an Aunt. Wow that is soo weird to say lol Here I am almost 30 years old and finally an Aunt. My nephew, Ethan James was born on Tuesday June 30, 2009 at 5:28 pm. My sister had quite the ordeal trying to have her little one lol. She was suppose to go into the hospital 10pm Sunday night to get the inducing process started b/c she was a week late as of the following day she was suppose to be there. Well she called the hospital and they didn't have her scheduled, they had her scheduled for TODAY lol yes today July 6th, she was due June 22 lol. So anyways, everything went as planned if not better. She was barely in labor for 12 hours when he decided to come. However he had problems breathing, which was due to swallowing some fluid when he was born. He was fine after that, then they thought he had an enlarged heart and did an x ray, well it showed it was enlarged, so they did a sono it showed it wasn't, then they did a cat scan and an ekg and both came back as him having a normal sized heart. They did figure out he had a valve that wasn't quite closed. That closed on it's own and they let him go home Friday afternoon. Then Sunday, my sister had to take him into the hospital b/c his heart was beating too fast. They had to literally stop his heart and restart it, so in a sense he died and was brought back to life by all technicalities. He is doing good now, they took him by ambulance, a special one that is basically a hospital on wheels to our childrens hospital and gave him meds. According to the Pediatric Cardiologists there they see this every couple weeks or so with new borns. Kind of scary to think that new borns have this happen so often. So anyways, if you pray please keep them in your prayers. God has really been watching out for this little boy.

I've decided my sister and I can't have normal kids, no they have to have something happen to them or have something go wrong so that they can get all kinds of extra attention lol Anyways, being an aunt is gonna be fun and cool I think. Loralei is excited. She is soo excited to have a cousin, however, Ethan coming along has prompted her to ask for a baby brother... so yeah that will be interesting to see lol as it won't be happening. She'll just have to settle for a baby cousin that's a boy, he can be like her brother lol I mean they're only almost 6 years apart so it's not too bad. I can't wait to see how she is with him, she can't wait to hold him and kiss him and touch him. She's only seen him through the glass in the nursery at the hospital. When I get pics I will post them. Oh and Kenny is finally an Uncle too, he never thought he would be one since he's an only child, but here he is, an Uncle Kenny lol.

If you are an Aunt or Uncle, post your most favorite memory with one of your nieces or nephews or the best thing about being an Aunt/Uncle to you.