So I haven't written in ages and that's partially b/c I've been so busy with family.
Family can be and usually is the death of us isn't it? We get so stressed out by them. What they say, what they do. How they are. No matter if you've changed, they still try to act like you haven't and so it's a huge cycle. Then you have family members that you would rather just disown and never see again, however there's always something that binds you to them and you can't just kick them out of your life just yet. You can count the days almost down to the very second that you can say ok I'm done I wash my hands of you and walk away. You feel like you need to take a deep breath yet can't, your chest is so tight you can't get a full breath of air in b/c you're being smothered with so much crap from those around you. Those that are suppose to be there to support you, to lift you up, to guide you and love you and help you along your journey through life. You shouldn't feel like you would be better off without them in your life. That's crazy talk right?
Come on people I know I'm not the only one who has this happen. There's those that you love to death, yet when you get around them, you just want to bop them on the head or ok, I'll be honest, club them on the head till you feel better. There are those that you would not mind not seeing for a while, but don't want to get rid of them altogether, but then there are those rare ones I think that you have to see, you have to have contact and it's like pulling teeth to be around them and everyone wonders why when you go to so and so's house or see so and so you have bald spots all over lol well if they only knew right?
So yeah things have been stressful. I've wanted to hide and cry and just run away at several points. However I can't do that and won't do that, well maybe the crying part b/c you know, a really good deep cry every now and then to cleanse the soul doesn't hurt. You know what I'm talking about, the cry where it takes a box of tissues b/c of all the snot you're blowing out your nose and sopping up the tears streaming down your face like rivers. Those I think are the best cries ever and so you go and find the saddest most heart wrenching movie (we all have one, yes even you men do and you know it) and it helps to deal with those family things, where you can't normally just bust out crying lest you want to have some drama happen more than it already is.
So I leave this post to go and do my best to have a good cry. I hope all have a good weekend wherever you are and I hope that no one is having family issues right now and if you are, just know that you are NOT alone, I'm right there with you.
4 years ago